What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
