She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
