i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just gift wrapped bread.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
