I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
