Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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