Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
