He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
is wine microwaveable?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
