She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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