it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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