No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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