who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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