It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
