I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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