my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
