it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
