I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
