I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
