i just made my gag reflex go away.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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