Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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