So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
