I just gift wrapped bread.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
