This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
bring money and cleavage
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
