a queef is a wish your heart makes.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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