i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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