Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
