hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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