so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
