How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize