You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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