how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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