pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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