redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
