Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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