Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
