Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
