you have to choose: penises or morals?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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