Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize