no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
