margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
