My room smells like vodka and shame
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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