I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
