apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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