The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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