honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
