It's like God shit irony all over that family
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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