all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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