I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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