We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
