I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
