mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
