sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
