Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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