you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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