Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
