If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize