Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
