Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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