so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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