Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
