Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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