I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I checked into jail on foursquare
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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