I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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