Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
