Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
