i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
